sometimes things go wrong.
little things.
things that are annoying, but not life-stopping.
like spilling coffee all over your new shirt.
not-quite-so-little things.
things that can be resolved, but can affect your momentum, your plan.
like dealing with website server problems when you’re writing your studio notes.
big things.
things that will alter your life as you know it.
like waiting to hear more about the health of someone close to you.
out of the blue, all of a sudden.
my husband’s grandma quickly became a grandma to me too.
as she welcomed me unconditionally into her family over twenty-five years ago.
strong, spry, independent, mentally alert.
ninety-seven years old, yet youthful.
confident and determined and unafraid.
a role model who has been admired and dearly loved.
i know how much i will miss her presence.
and it leaves me unable to imagine how it feels for the man so much like her.
in his strength, his independence, his determination, and his fearlessness.
the man who treats me like a princess.
sometimes there are no solutions.
only acceptance of change.
but when you’re screaming “no” inside, it’s a difficult premise to envision.
you find yourself lost in numbness as you ease into the paradigm shift.
unfamiliar unreality.
we wait for news of any kind.
we wish for a different outcome.
we wonder about the ebb and flow of life.
and as we wait, we wish, and we wonder,
we celebrate the gift of knowing her.
Deeply touching post…thoughts and prayers are with you. Beautiful way to celebrate and honor that change is natural, as hard as it may be!
thank you, stacey. my “grandma-in-law” left us on may 27. she was quite a woman and will be missed greatly.
Very moving April. Sending <3 to you all and Grandma.
Love to all of you as she leaves this life. I know it sounds corny, but, our loved ones are still with us as long as we remember them. xxx
yes, deb, i feel my mom’s presence often. (she’s been gone 12 years.)
I’ve always been a big grandma’s girl, the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, SO close with my grandmothers. They’re gone now, but still with me every day. xoxoxo
Hi April,
Your post today brought tears to my eyes. Remembering my great grandmother and grandmothers and my husband’s mom (who welcomed me into their family the way your husband’s grandmother welcomed you to theirs)
Life really never is quite the same when the matriarchs pass. Their love seems to have a hold on our hearts in this world and the next and we can feel that love all hours of the day…
big hugs,
xoxo
what a beautiful tribute, susan – i agree. thank you.
My grandmother (Bubby) was a huge influence on my life and continues to be. I know I have her spirit and realize if I accomplish half of what she did I will be enormously proud. She continues to guide me, from above, as one of my angels that I know. Sending love your way!
yes, the lessons i have learned and the guidance i have received – both from my beloved mom and my adopted grandma. thanks, susie.
Beautiful April. Your words touched me deeply inside my centre. I know this place well. Such an honouring. Such an altar to her presence in your life. Deep bow.
i’m glad my words spoke to you, elizabeth. thank you.
Thinking of you and totally understand how hard it can be. I was very close to my gran. I lost her in 2 Jan, 2012. It sounds like she has impacted your lives in a positive way and will continue to do so. Her spirit carries on in all of you! x
i am sorry for your own loss, reena. thank you for your lovely words.
I have never really understood the influence of grandma in ones life as I have never been exposed to that form of love. Your post revealed the bond, the love, the beauty, the treasure of grandma. Thanks for sharing. Love and light to your family at this time.
thanks, alecia. i never really knew one of my grandmothers (i only saw her twice because of the great geographical distance) and i lost the other when i was 20 years old (many years ago now). however, i remember certain things that will stay with me always.
April, the tears fell. I have fond memories of both my grandmothers and my husbands grandmother who became my third grandmother. Love and comfort to you. Thank you blessed sister.
it certainly sounds as if you know how i am feeling, dana. hugs back to you as you recall your grandmothers with love.
Oh, April. Much love to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
such beautiful words. Thank you for sharing and reminding us that sometimes we find the peace in acceptance xx
thanks, maria. i am trying to peacefully accept the inevitable. my dear adopted grandmother passed away on may 27, just a week after these words were written. what an example she was – living her life the way SHE wanted to, right up to the end. (oh, she was a feisty one! :))