yes, fear.
so i had this pretty snazzy blog post all typed up. full of advice and experience-laden words of wisdom. about discovering your true essence (the primary aim of my business), and also about the dangers of self-sabotage.
i still think the information is helpful. and i’ll probably revisit the topic soon. but this week it was sounding a bit stiff, a bit forced, not exactly what i wanted to say. certainly not what I was feeling.
because, you see, what i am currently feeling is fear.
yes, fear. raw and real.
lately it’s been creeping in to visit. mild some days, bone-chilling the next.
and i thought perhaps some of you (probably most of you) could relate to this very human emotion.
because, you see, fear affects us all. at some point or another. accurate or embellished.
yes, fear. raw and real.
i was flipping through a magazine that came in the mail, when my attention was caught by a list of symptoms, warning of a serious illness. physical symptoms i could match, could actually check off, but have been trying to ignore. i quickly stitched together a neat little google diagnosis, and my imagination was off, instilling the horror it's so good at creating.
of course, i don’t actually want to find out if i’m correct. so i put off calling the clinic, scheduling the exam.
i think because i recently guided my dad through a cancer scare (which thankfully turned out negative in the end). but our roles remain reversed as i now reassure him through the newness of a congestive heart failure tag.
yes, fear. raw and real.
i’m moving to another country in september. extreme excitement, amazing allure. but also untold unknowns.
trying to communicate in a foreign language, made even more difficult due to a hearing loss i am reluctant to admit.
saying goodbye to my two sons while saying hello to an all-at-once empty nest (four to two). all of this conjuring up a sad image of loneliness.
yes, fear. raw and real.
and here i am, left to make sense of all of these things which frighten me. what is the answer? where do i begin?
well, just as i approach everything else, and encourage my clients to do the same, i know that i will eventually face my fears.
i’ll make my doctor’s appointment. i’ll continue researching my dad’s condition. i’ll keep studying my rosetta stone. i’ll plan my sons' first visit to our new home.
and life will go on.
with its laundry and dishes, with its conflict and humor. with its stimulating work and relaxing play. with its words and images and sun and moon.
yes, fear. raw and real.
******* "only the dreamer knows the dream." ~carl jung
from a small mining town in northern idaho, to an italian village tucked away in tuscany.
i live by my 7 essential elements. wholeness and integration. freedom and light.
is it time to experience your own dreams?
stay tuned for details about my new e-course. coming this april. open to all women.
i'll share the personal philosophy that has been my driving force.
because it is your time. ******* click to receive my studio notes in your inbox each week. (and get my complimentary guide to the essence7 journey as my gift to you!) [maxbutton id="1"]
