where am i from?
i’m from a small mining town where everybody knew everybody, and my italian-rooted last name was instantly recognized.
i’m from an idyllic collegiate season on a university campus, not far from home but eye-openingly-far from all that i once knew.
i’m from a brief stint here and a short stay there, across all of one state and into a third (one dreamy california summer), then back to my original turf for moments-at-a-time, at different intervals along the way.
i’m from a bold trek to the 49th state, an introduction to what real snow feels like, spending such precious time with two boys as they grew and grew and grew over our 12 years there.
i’m from that liminal void of reeling-and-reacting in fog and anger after losing my mom, who was also my best friend.
i’m from yet another spot in the lower 48, a place i never once belonged, a dark place where i clashed and cried.
i’m from a return to my hometown and a grownup relationship with my aging dad, amongst lifelong friends at our winterchase home base, around much laughter and joy, but also fresh worries and some indecisiveness.
i’m from journeys i’ve taken, near and far, good and bad, literal and metaphorical, catalysts encountered, challenges faced, insights gained.
i’m from an unparalleled four-year adventure in a foreign country, communicating at the simplest level with an unfamiliar language, working my hardest to renovate our once-uninhabitable now-beautiful italian villa, realizing my long-held dream to guide others in awakening their essence, finding forever friends in that distant land.
i’m from that surreal space of starting over back in the states after a worldwide pandemic, shocking re-entry grief all mixed up with the loss of a feline superstar and the ensuing global upset with its altered perspectives.
i’m from a historic pink project that saved my sanity but didn’t quite quell that inborn restlessness in me, a bit like coming home but with a new cast of characters.
i’m from knowing that home is something we hold within, and realizing i’ve known that all along, in every apartment and dorm and house and hotel, in every stage of life from childhood playhouse imaginator to awkward back-brace-wearing salutatorian to suddenly-kinda-cool university student to young in-love bride to mother-of-sons-i’m-so-proud-of to empty-nester to struggling-with-getting-older 63-year-old woman.
i am from all of these places, all these layers of myself. and i have always, always, been home.