under the same moon
on the morning of january second, i read a blog post entitled “leaving on a jet plane." bittersweet timing, since that same day my two sons would be flying back to the states after their wonderful-but-too-short visit to italy for the holidays. i already knew all of the words to the famous song by the same title, because my mom and i sang them often the year my sister studied in france. (i was 11 at the time, and i missed her terribly.) so the lyrics kept drumming a mantra beat into my mind as the day inevitably drew closer to the time when we needed to leave for the airport. “i still have the drive to milan,” i told myself. “still another two and a half hours together.” but they were both sleeping in the car on the way to the airport, so no last-minute chats. i looked at each in turn, like i used to check on them when they were little, safe and cozy in their beds. and i gave them both silent messages, that ended with "i love you. be happy." then i turned to look out at the night sky and caught sight of two vapor trails. suddenly symbolic to me, representing my two guys taking off . . . cruising at high altitude, on this journey and in life.
i really thought it would be easier this time. after all, we've lived apart for over 14 months now, only seeing each other on three separate occasions during that time. i really thought it would be easier, but it's not. when i hugged them goodbye, i felt like hanging on forever, refusing to let go. they will always be my kids, and i will always be their mom . . . however incomplete the expanse between us makes me feel. i just like them nearby. i know it's not a realistic wish anymore. they are no longer little boys. they are independent adults, making their respective splashes in the world. i appreciate and applaud that. and i do believe we are all where we need to be right now. what a hard transition it creates for a parent though. they are once again far away (even separate from one another), and we don't know when we'll all be together again. i'll get back into my rhythm soon enough. and i allowed essential time to let the tears flow. (in fact, i scheduled it in.) i was also given one more reminder. that we'll all be under the same moon, no matter the distance.
but oh . . . my heart. a broken piece, that had been temporarily patched up, fell out again that night.
["leaving on a jet plane" (blog post) written by lisa chiodo at renovating italy] ******* the next travel size course in THE ARRIVAL series, VOICE #4, is my new year's gift to you! all you have to do is click on this link to read more about it and to SIGN UP for FREE: THE ARRIVAL: travel size join me january 22 through 26!
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