searching for homeostasis
"apparently there were seven stages of grief, but that was a neat way of putting it. grief was messy and didn't colour inside the lines."
~emily gale
abstract by april m lee grief is certainly messy and unpredictable troubling, distracting
it comes and it goes it ebbs and it flows though sometimes anticipated it can hit unexpectedly
an accident an uprooting a betrayal a passing any event that changes the way we do life
new job new home new family new situation
anything unfamiliar unrehearsed unsettled
i'm struggling a bit at the moment not sleeping well or enough and when i literally can't breathe i soon can't breathe metaphorically
trying to forge a new chapter that seems unreachable unimaginable
many moments of anxiety as i work to untangle those things which seem gnarled and knotty
added weight added pressure added complications
lingering anxiety a new thing for me never so specific and permanent-feeling before
and suddenly i realize i’m grieving
for what was for what could have been even for what may be ahead
but it’s okay because grief can also be oddly soothing a gift our body gives us
allowing ourselves to let the dam burst let the tears surge a flood of emotions and questions and yearnings
to process the loss to begin making sense of the unknown future
searching for homeostasis a balance physiological, psychological our essence our home tweet