like you can't swallow
about a month ago i found a poem that my oldest son wrote many years ago, after his first week ever away from home. a poem that described what homesickness feels like.
he expressed the emotion vividly, using all his senses. and it ended with this line, this line that has stuck with me. “homesickness feels like you can’t swallow.”
i've come to realize there is no better description. because lately i too have been having difficulty swallowing.
for me, homesickness isn’t longing for a specific place. because the feeling lodged in my throat went away when my sons visited at christmas.
no, for me, homesickness means being away from my family. my nuclear family that numbered four for so long, then endured so much change in the space of one year.
when they left, it hurt once again to swallow.
they were only here for eighteen days. but i miss those two guys. their unforgettable presence.
this villa is big and empty and quiet without them. the legos that they dragged out from their childhood days are now sitting in their bins untouched. no more singing or piano playing, no more brotherly jabs or jokes. and no more skateboarding through the house.
i’ve had a rough couple of days since they left. i’ve done a lot of crying for what used to be. but i'm going to allow myself a short period of grief, and then try to bravely pull it together.
because my sons are doing well, each on his own. they’re smart, independent, capable. they’re good men.
their parents moved far away, and are no longer readily accessible. but they've risen to the occasion.
and that means i can relax. i will miss them. always and like crazy. but i can relax.
and that's good. because i need to get back to work on the villa. i have a retreat coming up! ******* i’d planned a post to reveal my word of the year for 2017. in fact, it is mostly written.
but sometimes sorting out complicated emotions of the heart is more important.
my word will still be around next week. ******* beginning in late january, i will be sharing my brand-new mini courses (7 in 17). travel size versions of each essential element of my signature online course, THE ARRIVAL.
and the first mini course in this series, AWARENESS #1, is my gift to you.
all you have to do is click on the link and sign up (for FREE): THE ARRIVAL: travel size join me january 23 through 27, on your first step of this amazing journey. back to self, back to your very essence. join me as you ignite your own revolutionary path, and define and develop your long-held dreams. ******* click to receive my studio notes in your inbox each week. (and get my complimentary guide to weightless as my gift to you!) [maxbutton id="1"]
