jessica knows her stuff.
we've all heard about it, read about it, perhaps even discussed it. maybe a few of you have actually tried it.
POSITIVE SELF TALK.
replacing those negative, self-defeating thoughts and beliefs. with realistic, appropriate phrases. shifting the focus. rewriting the script.
but does it work? can it work? has it worked for you?
i have a cognitive-behavioral counseling background. and therefore i tend to place situations into this context: your THOUGHTS > your FEELINGS > your BEHAVIOR > your RESULTS. a self-perpetuating cycle.
when your thoughts are irrational or distorted or exaggerated, there can be an escalation of negative feelings. and your behavior may end up being extreme, with destructive results.
so thoughts are pretty important. they determine how you will feel and how you will behave. seems clear that in order to get good results, you probably don't want to linger amid bad thoughts.
here are some examples of faulty thinking you may recognize:
filtered: focusing only on the negative, ignoring the positive
polarized: rigid, with no in-between gray areas (black/white, good/bad, always/never)
absolutist: "I must do this" or "I should feel a certain way"
catastrophic: exaggerated, out of proportion, unrealistic
naysayers of thought reframing ask "how can we believe something that isn't necessarily true?" i'm not suggesting we spend every day all day playing pollyanna's "glad game." (although a few rounds may be fun!) but why not try starting with this question itself? instead of immediately concluding "this will never work", you might say to yourself "i'll give it a shot."
be curious, gentle, and accepting. rather than judgmental, shameful, and guilt-ridden. use self awareness as a tool to identify and examine a thought.
and then challenge it. "why do i think that?" "where did that belief come from?" "does that cognition line up with who i am, with what i want to accomplish in my life?"
attempt to rephrase the thought if it doesn't fit or isn't accurate. reprogram your mind to focus on thinking that will benefit you, rather than tear you down. this is an opportunity for learning, a chance to change your internal monologue. it can and will work, if you believe you deserve the resulting positivity.
as humans, we possess higher order thinking skills. why not utilize that privilege and enjoy thinking our thoughts? premium thoughts keep our bodies and minds moving forward.
so interrupt the critic inside of you and eliminate that self doubt. don't let your own thinking belittle you. don't let it assault your essence, your core.
in closing, i'd like to introduce you to jessica. (i asked for permission from her dad to share this video with you, and was thrilled to receive it.) because i consider jessica to be something of an authority on positive affirmations. look to her for authentic guidance the next time that negative tape is playing in your head.
CHALLENGE:
pay attention to all of the negative things you say to yourself over the course of one day.
write them down.
then ask yourself the following questions regarding each belief:
where did that thought come from? has it been present since childhood?
is the thought relevant or logical? does it make sense in my life?
did the thought contribute to bad feelings and poor behavior?
how can i replace it with a more realistic and helpful thought?
please share your own experiences with the power of self talk.
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