i’m striving to be a maven
of reflection, an emerging
expert in the way i personally
shape ideas and thoughts
studying my mental patterns
exploring with interest the
inner workings of my mind
deciphering concepts within
forever gathering insights
collecting moments of
introspection, feeling my
feelings and seeking clarity
of course an evocative
espionage of my soul
has to always occur first, in
that fragile hidden space
excavating guarded shadows
and secrets dark and foreign
muted whispers that reveal
my exclusive truest essence
a tangled untamed place at times
vulnerable, rarely welcoming
often hostile and difficult but
oh-so-necessary to grow
through a rusted-shut doorway
only opening with much coaxing
greeting buried and uncomfortable
long-neglected pieces of self
the hinges creaking with
resistance, fear, wariness
somewhat soothed, like squirts
of oil, by quiet calming words
and finally a brave new beginning
a fresh coat of boldly-colored
paint, awareness and acceptance
stunning enlightenment as well
embracing all that i am, even
the messy imperfect parts
then awaiting the arrival of
that gift, wholeness promised
