a flower-in-bloom example
i am used to striking up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. now i only understand a word or two each time i go out. i nod and smile, feeling idiotic and inferior. i’m living on the fringe, unable to communicate through the language fog. and it just isn’t suited to me.
it makes me miss my weekly coffee dates with a close friend even more. these get-togethers would stretch into three-hour gab fests, with sprinklings of both laughter and tears. i wish i could hear her right now, telling me about her week, and dramatically exclaiming over the deliciousness of her espresso drink.
i know the integration process will take some time. but i don’t think, for me, it will ever mean fully immersing myself. i think it will consist more of sorting through and deciphering all of my tangled-up thoughts and feelings and reactions, and finding a uniquely-april-balance between the old and the new. an innovative way to join my two worlds and to create a freshly-blended-reality. merging the cherished best from the past with the exciting promises of the future, commingling into a harmonious whole.
sometimes wisdom comes in strangely wrapped packages. sometimes growth hurts physically and emotionally. sometimes risking it all for a dream feels like someone has flipped the off switch. sometimes crying makes you feel like you can no longer breathe.
but . . .
sometimes crying makes you feel a whole lot better. sometimes returning to your daily gratitude practice works wonders. sometimes joy arrives unexpectedly, in the buttery-sunshine yellow of freshly painted walls.
and sometimes you just have to reach the end of your strength-as-you-knew-it, dig down deeper than you ever thought possible, and whisper (perhaps shout) these words: ADAPT and SURVIVE.
because even though it’s crazy and different and unlike anything i’ve ever done before, I am here, in italy, living my amazing dream. stretching my limits and setting a flower-in-bloom example.
what is it you desperately wish you could be doing, if you weren't feeling so afraid? what makes your heart beat faster, in both a good way and in a way that brings a bit of fear as well? what are you always thinking, and then hesitating, about?
THAT is your big dream. announce it to the world! begin by telling me first. then start to bloom. ******* click to receive my studio notes in your inbox each week. (and get my complimentary guide to weightless as my gift to you!) [maxbutton id="1"]
