life beyond an eating disorder.
i’ve been privileged to witness some revolutionary journeys.
many thoughts, feelings, impressions, discoveries, illuminations have been shared.
i asked my readers four questions last week.
questions i have asked and continue to ask my clients.
what follows is a brief synopsis of several universal answers.
1) What were you most afraid of during your initial recovery? What do you still fear?
- losing my special identity
- not recalling who i was before my eating disorder
- no longer being unique
- losing control
- opening myself up to failure
- missing/grieving my eating disorder
- keeping myself occupied during downtime
- feeling lost
- experiencing a sense of emptiness
- trusting myself
- not being able to hear what my body is telling me
- feeling overwhelmed by my emotions
- relapsing
2) What do you want to think about or act upon besides your eating disorder? Where will you focus your freed up time and energy?
- discovering my life purpose
- focusing on my long term goals
- rediscovering myself
- devoting time to my art, my career, my family
- moving forward with positive action
- exploring my spirituality
- finding out what truly feeds me
- being able to concentrate, without intrusive food-related thoughts
- trusting my inner guide once again
- remembering/recovering what once gave me pleasure
- expressing myself
- dreaming, breathing, trusting
- speaking up for myself
- asking for what i want
- challenging myself
- finally tuning in with myself and my body
- genuinely feeling my feelings for the first time
3) What valuable life lessons have you taken away from your experience of day-to-day existence with an eating disorder?
- i am truly a strong person
- i can survive
- i never gave up
- no one is perfect
- self-preservation is important to me
- i don’t have all of the answers, and that’s okay
- i have great resilience
- battling through my eating disorder took great courage
4) What would you say to someone just starting the eating disorder recovery journey?
- it’s the most difficult thing you’ll ever do, but the other side is wonderful
- there will be setbacks, recovery is an ongoing process
- your hard work will pay off
- flexibility is the key
- progress, not perfection
- you will truly know yourself and become your own best friend
- take things one step at a time
- get comfortable with being uncomfortable
- concentrate on being the best you can be, on being healthy
- there will be feelings of anger, sadness, disappointment
- be gentle with yourself and trust how your recovery unfolds
- practice supreme self-care
- reach out to others
- do not take others’ judgments personally, do what’s right for you
- don’t be afraid to make mistakes, just keep going
- remember that your feelings are gauges, they help you find your way
- you will know when you are ready to embrace your recovery
- when you are ready, it’s the right time
these are common answers.
but they are by no means exhaustive.
each woman who recovers from an eating disorder is an individual.
and she will therefore react and respond in individual ways.
each recovery is a uniquely creative and beautiful story in itself.
honor your one and only version.
it is a vital part of what makes you YOU.
dear bella, to ever-better days.
engage in the dance of transformation.
embrace your essence.
as always, i welcome your thoughts.
4 great questions- and interesting to read how different the responses are. We all want the best for ourselves and others ultimately!
thank you, farah – and yes, very individual journeys yet similar paths.
Though provoking questions…I especially feel # 3 is important, so find the positive side of a difficult experience. I think the answers to that question, especially understanding and feeling courageous and strong, are so important.
i agree, cori – often so difficult to find the lesson, but so meaningful as well.
How often do you find that the root cause of an eating dis-order is basically a self esteem issue?
deb – a client with an eating disorder often presents with issues of low self-esteem. however the root causes tend to go even deeper than that and the eating disorder can become a tangled manifestation of psychological and emotional factors.
Beautiful post, April. I’ve never experienced this myself, but I have friends who would appreciate this post. I shall pass this on to them. xo
i would love for you to share this, michelle. thank you.
You have such a beautiful way of exposing such a profound and deep journey. Such grace. Namaste.
your words are greatly appreciated, elizabeth. my feelings run deep on this issue.
You’re such a rockstar, April. This is such important work. }}vibes{{
thank you, bon. 🙂
The answers are fascinating because if you cover the questions, those answers apply to so many women in so many situations. We all want to feel in control and powerful and strong, interesting how some people turn that into an eating disorder, others become drug dependent, or have a shopping addiction. We are all together in our struggles no matter what the outcome.
yes, heather, these questions can definitely apply to women in multiple universal situations. thank you so much for pointing that out here!