perceptions of reentry

our expectations are not always our reality, are they? after only 10 months away, i wasn’t expecting to experience much difference upon reentry. but many factors have been at play in the past few days, combining to create a strangeness i can’t really define as anything other than reverse culture shock:

  • missed flights and jet lag
  • new friends, gained through airport hassles
  • one night in london, a whirlwind tour
  • “collateral beauty,” a film that received no accolades but touched me deeply
  • my dad’s prepared gift from italy, two vacuum-packed salamis, confiscated by u.s. customs
  • news of unfathomable violence, divisiveness, regression in our country
  • a big-box store, with its overwhelming abundance
  • our house, winterchase, no longer our home
  • my missed-by-a-day gone-awry high school reunion plans
  • my dad’s new-to-me limited mobility
  • a summer cold, with fever and chills, inducing an asthma flare-up
  • grown-up sons, living lives entirely on their own
  • the ease with which my two sons handle this independence, and the resulting no-longer-needed feeling
  • two stolen kayaks, shortly after we arrived
  • goodbyes to a childhood friend’s very-loved-now-fading mom, moments with her family
  • memories of my own mom’s last days rushing to the surface
  • a not-quite-yet still-searching-for way to define home, hovering in that liminal space

i’d probably start adjusting fairly soon if we were planning to stay in the states. but knowing that we are returning to italy again puts a different spin on things. as a result, i’m seeing everything through this surreal filtered lens.

still two-and-a-half weeks to go. with more surprises and revelations. stay tuned.

michelangelo quote
 
 
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